First entry

I am a little bit confused myself what the purpose of this blog should be. There is a great chance that it will become one of the countless online blogs without any readers and poor content. However, I will give it a try. Most likely, this blog will become sort of like a diary.

Recently, the greatest turn of events in my life was Henrik breaking up with me. Today, it was almost exactly 4 weeks ago. His wish to go separate ways came as a complete surprise. To summarize the event shortly: he did not say a word about his change of feelings until that last day. He said some things during the break up that really hurt me, even though I know that was not his intent with his words.

Thankfully, I am way past the point where tears flow as soon as his name appears in my thoughts. Us ceasing to be a "we" was truly for the best. Even if, in the process he really hurt me by not being honest with me about his feelings until the last day. Though, from this process, I have learnt so much. About myself, him and relationships in general. Most importantly, I realized what I am worth, what I deserve. Because I deserved so much more than what I received from Henrik. He took me for granted and I should not have accepted that for such a long time. Even if love clouded my judgement.

I have realized how important it is to demand, to not just give and give and give. But also take, and if you don´t receive what you deserve, it is crucial to speak up. He said he was constantly so busy though, I knew that. That is no excuse for not putting in effort for someone you supposedly said you love. I was just as busy as him, yet I always made time for him. And now I am simply rambling.

In the end, I have grown. After seeing him last Saturday, when I made him realize that he mistreated me, I feel ready to finally let go of those repetitive thoughts and feelings. It is time for fun, for exploring and excitement.